Why Does My Cat Sleep with Me and Not My Husband?


Cats have all kind of quirks, and one of them is often who they prefer to spend time with. Some cats are fairly promiscuous with their affections, running up for snuggles with every member of the household more or less indiscriminately. Others are friendly with everyone but do play favourites, picking a specific person who they seem most fond of. Others are completely aloof or even hostile to most of the people around them, except for a single trusted human friend. It can be difficult to determine exactly how cats decide who they favour.

Why does my cat sleep with me and not my husband? The cat may be more attached to you or may prefer your smell. It might be that you snore less or more in your sleep. Your body temperature may be also more pleasant for the cat, especially if you’re warmer than your husband.

You’ve landed on this page because you have questions about your cat’s sleeping habits. Why does my cat insist on sleeping with me, when she doesn’t sleep with my husband? Why do cats prefer to sleep with humans sometimes? Are there any downsides to letting my cat sleep with me? How can I help my cat to relax around other people? Why does my cat come to sleep with me when I’m ill?

Keep reading, because we’ve got the answers you’re looking for. You’ll learn why cats want to sleep with you and how come they’re so picky about who they sleep with.

Why Does My Cat Sleep with Me and Not My Husband?

The reason that your cat prefers to sleep with you may simply be that she’s more fond of you than your husband. This might seem a bit unfair, especially if your husband is perfectly nice and kind to the cat. The likes and dislikes of a cat can be unpredictable, though, with little obvious rhyme or reason. A cat’s favourite person in the household is often whoever feeds her most often, so if you’re usually the one to open that tin of food for supper, you might become her favoured person in the house.

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Cats can also become attached to the person who gives them the most attention. A cat who enjoys playtime and snuggles will tend to gravitate to whoever is most likely to provide those things. If you spend more time petting your cat than your husband does, more time allowing her to curl up on your lap, and more time engaging her in rousing games with teaser toys or pieces of string, you’re more likely to be her favourite person.

Of course, the reverse can sometimes be true. Cats are also very picky about the kinds of interactions they like, and a human who is overly enthusiastic about physical affection and contact can become someone to avoid. If someone in the household is prone to scooping the cat up for hugs when the cat is less enthusiastic, the cat may find this off-putting. In this case, then the favoured human becomes the one who is best able to read that confusing feline body language and respond in a sensitive way.

Another factor in who cats choose to sleep with is the smell. A cat’s sense of smell is very finely tuned and sensitive. If you just happen to smell more interesting or pleasant to your cat than your husband does, your cat may choose to sleep with you rather than with him. This could be because his cologne or toiletries have a different effect on the cat than yours do, or it might simply be that your own natural scent has more kitty appeal.

For cats, a very big factor when it comes to choosing a cuddle buddy is body temperature. If you happen to be a little warmer than your husband or use lighter bedclothes, you’re more likely to end up being a human kitty bed. Cats love warm spots to nap in, and that goes for humans too. If you radiate a lot of body heat and like a thin blanket, while your husband runs a little cooler and likes a thick duvet, your cat will probably want to snuggle you more than him.

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Cats also prefer people who are fairly quiet and still when they sleep. If your husband is prone to snoring and fidgeting, your cat might find him uncomfortable to sleep on. Cats don’t like it when their human heat pads are too active during the night. They can also be scared or confused by sounds that they’re not expecting, so snoring can bother them. They’re more likely to sleep with the non-snoring partner.

Why Does My Cat Wake Me Up Instead of Waking My Husband?

Cats can be very effective alarm clocks, provided you don’t mind being woken up on their schedule rather than yours. Thanks to my crew of shorthair kitties, I don’t think I’ve slept past six am in years. I don’t let them sleep with me at night, but that doesn’t stop the chorus of meows and scratching at my bedroom door each morning. They are very lively first thing, especially when they want breakfast.

Typically, if your cat wakes you up rather than your husband, it’s because she wants something and knows you’re more likely to deliver. If she’s hungry, she will wake up the person who usually feeds her; if she’s bored and feeling playful, she’ll wake up the person most likely to break out the toys. You might be able to persuade her to wake your husband up instead by having him take over feeding and playing duties, but cats tend to be creatures of habit. If your cat has decided that you’re a safer bet for food or fun, you’re probably stuck with that role.

Another reason may simply be that you’re easier to wake up. If your husband is a deep sleeper and you’re a light sleeper, your cat may have learned that it’s easier to get your attention than his. That’s why you’re being favoured with the early morning paw in the face or meowing in the ear. Unless you plan to start excluding your cat from the bedroom (a course of action I generally recommend), you may simply have to get used to being woken by your cat.

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Should Your Cat Sleep With You?

There are advantages and disadvantages to having your kitty in bed with you. Personally, I do allow my cats to doze with me when I nap on the living-room sofa — but I’ve declared my bedroom a kitty-free zone. I have a moderate cat allergy, and keeping my cats out of my room is a necessary compromise. Even though they’re shorthair cats, their dander sets off my asthma if I let them hang around the bedroom. Because you’re exposed to their dander all night long, allowing cats to come into your bedroom and jump on the bed can cause real problems for allergy sufferers.

Another reason you might think twice about allowing your cats to sleep with you is hygiene. Cats are very finicky about hygiene, but they’re still tracking all the dirt they pick up around the house into your bed. This typically won’t be a problem for healthy adults who bathe and change their bedding regularly, but for those with a compromised immune system, the very young, or the elderly, the dirt from a cat’s feet is not something you want on your pillow.

Keep in mind that those paws have tracked through the litter box and all sorts of other unsavoury locations. It’s possible for germs and other nasties to be transferred from your cat’s paws to the pillow, and from the pillow to your face. Not an ideal situation, especially if you’re more prone to infections.

Cats are also more likely to be active during hours of darkness. They’re not precisely nocturnal, but they do tend to be more lively at night. There’s nothing like being woken up at three in the morning by a cat jumping onto your face, or scratching at the bedroom door because she wants to get out and run around the house. On the whole, it’s best to leave your cat outside the bedroom if you want a good night’s sleep.

My British Shorthair Cat

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